Rethinking Note-Taking in Coaching

This is a question that often surfaces in coaching training. Is it ok for the coach to take notes while conducting a coaching session? What are the pros and cons of writing down in coaching?

When it comes to coaching, I usually try to stay away from “black-and-white” answers.
Coaching is a human-to-human interaction, and as such, it is full of gray areas.

Taking notes while coaching is possibly one of them.

What is important is to be aware and purposeful about the decisions we make when we are in front of our clients. Every time I see a coach, a student in one of my practicums, or a mentee in a recorded session taking notes, I always wonder about the true motivations behind that action.

What is prompting the coach to write down this piece of information? What is the decision process happening behind the scenes? Is this just a habit, a crutch? How much has the coach thought about this choice?

When I ask the students what made them take that step, the answer is usually related to not forgetting that piece of information: “If I don’t write it down, I will forget.” “I must remember these facts.” “It helps me organize my thoughts.”

As you can see, all these statements are coach-centered. We are writing for ourselves, taking notes out of our fear that we might forget, and writing out of a personal preference. In doing so, our focus is on us. Perhaps with good intentions, but the bottom line is that we write to fulfill our own needs, not the client’s.

I hear other reasons: “I write so I can bring back these points later.” “I write so I can show my clients that I remember.” (Somehow, this statement seems contradictory.) “I write so I show efficiency.”

Here comes the issue of the value of coaching. Remember that coaching is not solution-based but discovery-based. Our value is not on archiving details but on how we create the structure of the coaching conversation that provides the client with the space for exploration. More important than remembering the exact words, our focus needs to be broader and deeper, trusting that the pieces will come together when we are anchored to the essence.

While we want to remember specific points and relevant facts, most importantly, we must be present in the moment and to the core of what our client is experiencing.

Regardless of the skills or tricks we have created or whether we are coaching in person, on Zoom, or even over the phone, the fact is that when we look down and start taking notes, at some level, we break the connection with our client. And that connection, in itself, is more valuable than any piece of information.

The funny part is that once we establish this level of coaching presence, remembering details is easy.

I am always amazed at how much information surfaces right when it is most relevant. That is because I am present. That is because I am connected with my client.

You can see that my strong recommendation to all my students and mentees is to put the pen down. Look at the client and truly, intentionally be present. That alone can be the transformative action that will make a tremendous difference in the client’s life.

If you habitually take notes while you coach, I suggest you pay close attention to the true reason for this. Your client needs you more than your memory. Details can be remembered and refreshed. Words can be substituted by meaning and experiences. More importantly, you stay with your client at every second and establish a genuine connection at every moment.

Having said that…

When I am coaching, I always keep a pen and paper close by. In all my years of experience as a coach, there have been a few times when it seemed important to jot a few things down. When this happens, the decision to take notes is conscious, and it is always preceded by some statement that makes the client aware I will be taking that step. This shows my clients that we are doing this together and partnering, even in the act of taking notes.

One more point…

Remember that in coaching, the client is in the driver’s seat. Often, if there is something that really needs to be recorded, I am of the mindset that perhaps it is the client’s job to do so. This may be one of the few moments when making a request is in order.

by Elias Scultori, MCC
(previously posted on www.eliasscultori.com)